Wednesday 30 March 2011

THE DAY STEVE JOBS SAVED MY LIFE




The day started with the wrong foot. And I have all the right to say so since that same foot, a few hours later, would be broken... this is how it went.


I am home trying to configurate my MobileMe application on my shiny iPhone 4. I am sure I am doing the right thing by taking one step ahead in the Apple world. While I play with my mobile and my MacBook to synchronize the two, the only one button of the former stops working. Relaxation techniques soon come in handy. Breathing deeply makes the whole shock lighter to bare. 


I try rebooting, re-installing the operative system, nothins works. I access google maps in search of the nearest Apple Store. Not really "nearest" but I find one. I arm myself with patience and take a metro ride to it. The journey seems to last hours but I take it as a test and start preparing myself for iPhoneless days.


I finally reach the giant shopping center where the Apple Store is and start looking for it. As in every respectable fairytale help only shows up at the end. So did the store, located at the furthest end of the mall.


As I see it from far away I have to refrain myself from running to it. I take control of my actions and calmly approach the Mecca.


It is all white and shiny. The color only cleanness has. It is a big open space. Sounds seem to soften or disappear. My attention focuses straight away on the Genius Bar, the help desk, at the end of the long path I need to walk to get to it.
The feelings that overwhelm me can only be expressed in white. 


I am attracted to the Genius Bar as if I were hypnotized. While I cross the store I cannot focus on what is around me but I perceive perfection in the forms of MacBook's, iPad's, iPod Touch's and their holy gadgets. I understand there are other people, many, but cannot fully see them.


I keep walking straight and head directly to the counter with the despair and hope of a truly devoted customer. I am stopped by a woman with a peace bringing device in her hands. She asks what I need and she checks me in for an appointment after only three minutes.


I don't have to wait very long before my name is called. I put the iPhone in the hand of a stranger that I am entrusting with a piece of my heart with the hope typical of the faithful.


"The phone is actually broken, he says, it'll be quicker for me to replace it rather than have you wait a long time before having it back. Your information will be lost".


I accept his words like a dogma.


In only 5 minutes I am already walking out of the store. I have my new device in my hands, a new iPhone without the bumps and scratches I caused on the other one, a second chance to perfectly shaped happiness.


I want to run out, I am afraid they will change their mind and realize what a mistake it was to entrust me again with such privilege. I am as excited as a baby on Christmas day.


Once I am home I connect it to my laptop to find out no information was lost and that everything was stored into iTunes. With one click all the info is back on my new phone.


Later the same day I would go performe in one of Barcelona's most central theatres. One hour before the show I would mark a jump, land, slip, and crack a bone in my foot. The morning after I would get surgery to my right foot and be given lots of "still" days. Thanks to my Apple devices time has flown by since and I have not had time to be bored or have terribly depressing thoughts about being a dancer with a broken foot.


I thank Steve Jobs's genius for this and his bars all over the world.
And forgive me Steve for I have sinned, because I have not stood in line the day the iPad2 came out in stores. But that is only because I actually cannot stand, yet.

Friday 18 March 2011

BLACK SWAN - I am Winona Ryder



Just a few days ago, during a ballet class, I realised my shoulders were covered in scratches. Not recalling a catfight nor a night of aggressive sex I started wondering whether I was living the Black Swan Syndrome. I immediately started wondering whether I was turning into the black swan itself or becoming Natalie Portman in the role of the Black swan. Delirious thoughts followed.


I hated Black Swan. I think I have expressed this opinion since the first day I saw it. I won't go through details cause I will risk to bore myself.


But just a few days ago I had an accident on the job (slipped and broke my foot) and had to be hospitalised and go through surgery for a new shiny stepping tool.


This of course meant accepting to be replaced in the show my company is representing now with incredible success in one of Barcelona's finest theatres.


While I cheer for my colleagues' triumph, the heavy medications (high doses of morphine) I have been taking to relieve the pain of the broken bone have made me quite sensitive about having to be stuck on a bed while others are enjoying applauses.


So it is only thanks to tranquillizers that I finally understand that I have no chance of being Natalie if not Miss Winona Ryder herself. 


I am diagnosed with the WR Syndrome, the one that drives you nuts cause you can't do tombé-pas-de-bourrée-pirouette and makes you jealous of your innocent replacement. As Winona I am in a hospital and cannot leave the bed (doctors said I can't move). I haven't stabbed myself in the face yet but as I said I am already full of scratches. I am jealous, sad and angry.


So my question is: is it time to retire, suicide or have I been watching too many movies?

Sunday 13 February 2011

SEX AND THE CITY - Computers, Exclusivity and Integralism




On episode 8 of the 4th season of Sex and the City Carrie experiences her first computer crash (I thought Mac were not supposed to break down but anyway...). She panics... and calls the boyfriend intervention who causes a complete shutdown of the machine.


World war desesperation occurs. 


I imagined myself in the same situation. I don't mean being a 35 year old curly blonde newyorker, I mean witnessing my laptop's death. I'd freak out. Being slightly more tech-savvy than Carrie I'd probably try a few tricks before asking specialised support from a technician but basically I'd feel lost.


Not only would all my data be gone forever but my entire life, my memories, my bank account numbers, my passwords, photos of my lovers past and present and souvenirs of all sorts would just be erased in the elapsed time of a second. Which led me to think that I rely too much on this box I actually treat like a son, protect as a home dog, that I rarely and unwillingly put into someone else's hands and that I (read carefully) share a bed with.


My boyfriend has more than once complained about the invading presence of technology in our relationship and has not welcome the arrival of a second child, my iPhone 4. The two kids together mean the world to me and I don't think I have spent a day without them since I have had them. The cinderella of the family, my iPod nano, is in line for retirement. But that is a different sad story and it's not what I now want to discuss...


So Carrie is at the Mac shop talking to the technician and finds out PC users are not compatible with Mac machines. The news strikes down like a final verdict. If there were any doubts about her relationship with Adain, the very clear separation in the computer world between windows and apples made them a certain fact.


So I wonder whether this applies to my life and my boyfriend's. Is my technology influencing the way I relate to people. Can there be or will there be a discrimination in the tech world?


One of my favourite magazine (WIRED) is of the opinion that internet and technology will save the world. I would like to think that as true. But did we consider how exclusive some of those machines are becoming? Not only the prices of some (like mine) are not accessible by everyone but the features and the application they come with are definitely setting them apart from the rest. There are things only iPhone 4 can do that no other smartphone can. And iPhone 4 now uses a microsim which just makes it easier to keep using phones with microsim, of which there are not many yet.
Wanna make a free call with Viber? you gotta have an iPhone!
And this is just the tip of the iceberg.


My children are setting me apart from the rest and my being a Mac person is isolating me from all other users. Is the "genius bar" at the apple stores just the embryo of what bars will really be like? you can't get in unless you have an Apple product at the very least?


I am writing on my shiny titanium MacBook and am aware of the fact that I would probably give my life to preserve its (or should I say HIS?). I have definitely passed the limit. I am a Mac integralist.

Monday 10 January 2011

DEXTER - I am Dexter




I am DexterI feel the need to kill. I remain still at night to catch my victim by surprise. Waiting for the right moment. I avoid any noise. I approach slowly, in the light as in the dark. My weapon is heavy and can strike from a distance.


I am Dexter. I do not stop until I see the red fluid splashed on the wall, on the pillow, on the furniture. I need blood as the victim needs that of others.


I am Dexter, I strike upon those who have struck. My revenge is inevitable. It lands on those who offend with the anger of those who have suffered. I cannot rest until I achieve my goal. I spend sleepless nights to avenge myself and others.


Like Dexter, I erase all traces of my crime. I do not leave anything behind and act in absolute secrecy.


My name is Dexter, and I will not find peace until I get them all extincted, those damn mosquitoes!


P. S.: Last night, January 10, 2010 - Barcelona - Spain, I killed three of the local mosquitoes.